I'm home alone. Just went out back to pick some tomatoes. I can hear all the kids out at recess at the school. A tinge of sadness comes over me realizing that Will isn't there. Then I wonder what he would be doing if he WERE there. Playing by himself? Being upset because he couldn't get to the swings? Chasing someone who doesn't want to be chased? How long would it take to redirect once he was back in the classroom? Or would be so overstimulated by the chaos of recess that he would need a break in the resource room? I guess it's not really a sadness of Will not being at the old school. It's more of a sadness that he's different. That what seems to work for so many children doesn't work for my child. But I don't let that sadness take over for long. Reasoning steps in and reminds me that I'm doing what we feel is best for him and we will continue to re-evaluate and try again and again and again...

Comments

[Tim Kelly]

I have to fight that sadness everyday. Sometimes it is easy to shoo away and sometimes I need to go and bawl like a baby to let it out. I'm glad we have each other to go through it together. Thank God for giving you to me and giving us strength.

[grammajayne]

yes, I cry for you all sometimes as well, but then it's thanking God that HE sustains you and HE will provide a way... and HE doesn't make mistakes, all our lives have a grand purpose in the scheme of things.